Mind Games

You know, I've said this before, but I fight this constant battle in my head of my thoughts.  It goes like this.

I need to get out and run.
It's cold.  I'm tired.  My knee hurts.  My back hurts.  I'm hungry.  It's almost dark.  I don't have time.

I need to stop eating sweets.
One doughnut today won't hurt me.  It's just a small piece of cake.  This will be my last cookie.  It's a special occasion.  I haven't had much lately. 

I need to lose weight.
I can start on Monday.  My clothes aren't that tight.  I'll just eat this one thing (which leads to one more, then another thing, then another.)

I need to read my Bible.
I don't have time.  It's boring (sorry but I know we all feel that from time to time.) God isn't speaking to me.  It won't really make a difference.

I need to spend time in prayer.
I'm just talking to myself.  I'm tired.  God doesn't really answer my prayers anyway.

So I was thinking, how do I stop these thoughts and conquer them once and for all.  I think that simply by making one good choice at a time I can eventually get rid of these constant conversations with myself.  When I go down that path of making one wrong decision, it continues to lead me astray.  I fill my head with condemnation about what I've done wrong and that because I've done that wrong, then this other choice doesn't matter.  And then I just end up in a place where I feel like nothing matters. And I eat.  And I sit.  And I worry and I get upset with myself for wasting another day.  I make one wrong decision after another.  Then the day is gone and I've done nothing to make myself better.  This cycle just keeps repeating itself until I'm just exhausted. 

It's a bit like the title of my blog.  Daily Obedience.  It's making one right choice after another that will cause us to finally succeed with all of our goals.  One decision for good.  Read my Bible.  Another good decision.  Spend quality time in prayer for my family.  Another good decision.  Put on my running shoes and get outside.   Still another good decision to eat healthy and on and on.  And then when the end of the day comes, I've made a slew of good decisions and I can rest knowing that I've conquered the negative beast today.

And it's also important that I don't allow the bad choices that I make to keep me from making good choices.  Just because I had a doughnut for breakfast doesn't mean I shouldn't eat a salad for lunch.  Because I didn't spend any time in prayer today doesn't mean I shouldn't crack open my Bible tonight.  Even for 5 minutes.  I believe every choice, even small, that we make for good, will spur us on to continue making good choices.

My favorite verse of scripture that teaches us to train our minds is Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things

Don't get bogged down in what you did wrong today but praise yourself for what you did right.  And if you can't find much that you did right, then be determined to make a better choice tomorrow.

Do You Not Know?

This scripture has been going around in my head all week long.

Isaiah 40:27-31
Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God?"  Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;  but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Let me say this first.  It's really difficult to open yourself up on a blog and admit you've made mistakes when one or maybe hundreds end up reading.  But I think it can be healing as well.  For me and for those reading.  So I'm doing it.  Don't judge! LOL!

I can be overzealous when it comes to making plans for myself.  Then I always end up in a situation where I feel like I've failed.  That brings me down.  So I must be real.  I keep saying 40 pounds by Christmas.  But seriously, that can only happen if you make a dedicated effort to eat next to nothing and exercise like crazy.  So I'm not sure that was realistic for me. 

My plans to do The Firm in the morning and run at night, every day, fell apart very early on.  Monday morning I woke up with great intentions to do it all.  30 minutes of The Firm before I went to work.  The puppies were insistent on doing it with me and well that just didn't work out at all.  So after 10 minutes of attempting to move up and down on a step with a puppy under my feet, I quit.



   The second failure was believing that I would have time to update my blog every day.  I never even made it to Monday on that one.  I work in downtown Atlanta, a 31 mile commute in traffic each way, each and every day of the week.  I wake up at 5:15 every day so I can spend time with the puppies before going to work at 7:30 and leaving them all day.  I figure I owe them that much!  I usually don't get home until around 5:00 to 6:00 depending on how early I got to work.  When I get home, I spend a few hours with the pups, first playing, then they follow me around the house as I pick up and clean, and eat some dinner.  After that, I put them up for about an hour while I try to go outside and walk before it gets to be dark.  Then I come in and shower, get the pups out and we hang out for a while until I just can't keep my eyes open and my body clock just winds down.  I fall in the bed exhausted and do not even blink an eye once my head hits the pillow.  Then I get up the next day and do it all again.  So that doesn't leave time at all to sit down and think about writing in a blog.  So as of now I'm updating on weekends only, unless I find time or have a great revelation I'd like to share. 

And the next failure was related to eating.  I did not make very good choices all week long.  We won't even begin to discuss what I've eaten.  Let's just say it wasn't going to help me lose weight!

As a side thought, I did see this on Pinterest that goes along with my thoughts for today.  I followed it to the blog where I think it originated.  Life's Sweeter with Chocolate 

Now as far as the training schedule I'm following for running, I didn't really end up following it.  Monday, I got on the treadmill (got too dark before I could get outside) and did the recommended walk.  Run 2 minutes, walk 4 minutes, 5 times.  I did that, plus a warm up of 4 minutes and cool down of 4 minutes.  That was a total walk of 38 minutes.  It felt great and I was able to run the required amount of time.    Tuesday, I did nothing.  Wednesday, I did nothing, though I was supposed to be on schedule for training.  I deliberately took Tuesday off because I was running a 5K on Thursday.  Thursday I did the 5K, the Kaiser Corporate Run/Walk in Atlanta.  Me and about 16,000 of my closest friends!  I was totally exhausted when I finished and therefore I didn't walk on Friday so I could rest instead.  Today I'm going out for a 6 mile walk.  So I guess the training schedule isn't really my schedule after all.

Having said all this, I want to wrap it up this way.  I make plans.  And obviously my plans fail.  That leaves me frustrated and feeling like a failure.  I'll go full steam ahead and then as an after thought I ask God to bless me in my endeavors.  It seems like he doesn't and then I get upset with God.  I think He doesn't even care about me.  That He doesn't see me or hear me.  And I think that's why the scripture has been in the front of my mind all week.  God is speaking out to me and saying DO YOU NOT KNOW?  HAVE YOU NOT HEARD?  Trust me!  I am GOD.  The One who should make the plans for your life.  The One in whom I should trust. The One who is everlasting.  The Creator of the ends of the earth.  And His plans for my life will never fail.  Though I grow tired and weary, though I stumble and fall, He will give me strength.  And sometimes He will ask me to wait.  To go slowly.  To be patient.  To trust in Him.  So I'm going to try this one day at a time.  Not set unreachable or unrealistic goals for myself.  I think the best plan to follow for getting healthy is just to make good choices each day, moment by moment, and not count on certain results by a certain time.  If I set myself up for failure, I will certainly fail.  But if I wake up each day and ask God for his help, for his instruction, remembering that He cares deeply for me, I will not fail.  

So going forward I will simply make good food choices, exercise, and pray that God help me to put Him first in all things.  Because I want to run.  But I want to run to Him first.

The Firm

Yesterday my daughter and I went to our local Goodwill Store.  Okay, I admit it.  I love shopping at the Goodwill.  It's just like this huge great yard sale!  I mentioned that I was going to try to do Body Revolution but while I was at the Goodwill I found a perfectly new boxed The Firm "Transfirmer" and the best part was it was only $15!!!!  So instead of spending the money on Jillian's Body Revolution, I've decided to try The Firm for a month and see how I do with it.

My schedule will be to do The Firm videos in the morning when I'm up for two hours before work with my puppies!  They can jump around with me and maybe they will be tired enough to sleep all day until I get home from work.  Then I'll start my runs around 7:00 each evening.   If you want to come over and run with me, I always run in the neighborhoods around my house.  So just look for me!

My goal is to lose 40 pounds by Christmas.  There I've said it aloud.  I can't back out now!  Some say it it is not realistic.  My doctor says it is perfectly fine and to not listen to naysayers!   So Let's GO!

Training Schedule

I mentioned that I would post the Training Schedule I was going to follow.   This is one of the ones I found online that follows the schedule laid out in the book I'm reading which I mentioned in another post.   As I said before if you don't intend to run then I would just walk 30 minutes and gradually add in some jogs and sprints to boost your activity.  Whatever you do, just get moving!

Commitment

Why is it I struggle with commitment?  I have such good intentions.  Ok, so this week, I walked on Sunday, Monday and Wednesday.  I was supposed to walk every day.  But that didn't happen.  Oh I intended to do that.  But somehow the busyness of my life got in the way. 

A facebook friend posted to me that you make time for what you want to do.  Hmmmm...  Perhaps he is right.  I think next week I'll schedule time in to walk.  My puppies and I are on a schedule for the rest of the day so why not get used to scheduling a walk from 7:30-8:30.  I think that is a great idea.

As far as eating, I'm trying to cut back on sweets.  I think I've decided I'm a sugar addict.  If I have one cookie, I need the whole bag.  If I eat one Krispy Kreme, I eat seven.  Especially those Hot Doughnuts Now glazed ones.   I just cannot seem to turn it off.  So I ordered this book, Overcoming Sugar Addiction, by Karly Randolph Pitman.  I don't know I just saw it on Amazon and decided I would give it a try.  If someone else has struggled with this same thing and they have had success then it couldn't hurt for me to find out how.

I've decided that my lack of commitment goes further than just my eating and exercising habits.  Every week I commit fresh to prayer and bible time each day.  I'll start out fairly well and stay on track but then again before I turn around the week has gotten away from me and I forgot to read and pray.

I saw this picture somewhere on the web and couldn't agree more with it! 

It's time I stop giving up!  

I've decided that along with my walking/jogging each day, I'm going to try out Jillian Michaels Body Revolution.  I'm really ready for a change and I think this program might give me a kick in the pants that I need.  Let's hope I can commit to it for 90 days.  Actually, forget that.   I am making a promise that I WILL commit for 90 days.  I really need to quit making excuses.  

And while I'm talking about commitment, I'm reminded of this scripture:

 Psalm 37:5-6 

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:

He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,

the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

So today, I'm committing my way to the Lord.  In so doing, I trust that He will make me shine like the noonday sun!    Would you commit your way as well?  We can do this together!  Just decide to make a commitment today!   Have a great weekend.        

Faithful God

Well let me just start out by saying that I did walk on Saturday.  First I took my puppies out for a 20 minute walk which was to them a marathon!  Aren't they adorable? 

So after walking the puppies I walked myself.  I know I said I would follow the training schedule even if it was too easy.  Well, I didn't!  I walked for about 50 minutes.  A very slow walk though!  It really felt good to get back out there and get moving and I just couldn't bring myself to shorten it!

This week the schedule is to walk every day.  For the first three days, walk for 20 minutes, then the next four days walk for 30 minutes.  After that the training starts to incorporate some running.  If you don't want to run then I would say just keep walking and maybe add a little jog in from time to time to give yourself a boost!

Every morning I wake up at 5:15 to take the puppies out.  This morning and yesterday as well, I noticed how beautiful it was out there.  The full moon is just gorgeous right now.  It made me think about how every night we can depend on the moon to rise and every day we can depend on the sun to rise.  This reminded me of how faithful God is to us.  Sometimes it can be so easy to think I'm alone and that God doesn't give a thought to me.  But this morning I was stricken by the fact that He is there and He cares for me greatly.  Just by seeing the beauty in this world.   

I'm listening to Laura Story's album Blessings.  I'll always have music in my ears because it is so uplifting and encouraging.  The days that I don't have music are the days that seem so gray.  The song that was on when I started this blog was Faithful God.    It is beautiful and reminds me that God loves me and will never forsake me.  That His love is deep and He is faithful.  I just need to remember that. 

Have a great Labor day!  Enjoy some BBQ and baked beans.  Take a walk and notice how beautiful and faithful God is to you today!



It's Time to Run

Simple.  Make a commitment and stick with it.  So here I am 7 months later.  Starting over again.   This time I'm going to get it right.  I'm following the schedule that I found in the Runner's World  Complete Book of Running

Today is Day One.  Let's go! We got this!

Training for today is simple.  Walk for 20 minutes.  That's it!   I know what you're thinking.  20 minutes.  That's too easy.  But I swear if I'm gonna get this right, I'm gonna follow the guidelines perfectly this time.  I don't care if I can walk 3 miles already.  I'm gonna do it one step, one day at a time.   And I will be a runner one day!

Say your prayers, eat your veggies, stay away from sugar and soda, and drink plenty of water.   Don't worry about how it's all gone wrong in the past.  Today is a new day!  Throw away the baggage from the past and move forward.  You can't run when you're holding suitcases!    Check out Dara Maclean's song Suitcases.   It's a great message!