I'm moving these entries from another personal blog so I can have everything together. These were my thoughts to God on the 2nd day of my stand.
God, today I'm tired. I woke up late. I rushed to work. I haven't taken time to pray to seek your word. I feel weak. Please Lord just hold me and carry me through this time. I am so sad just wanting my husband to come home. But I know it isn't time yet. You need time to prepare both of us for a reconciliation. Lord, just cleanse my heart, my mind, my soul, and give me the desire to seek you. I'm as sure as I have breath that this is you calling and this is what you want me to do. So I pray.
Lord, teach me to be patient as I wait. Teach me to seek you above all others. Teach me to be kind and gentle, self-controlled and spirit filled. Lord just do a mighty work in my life. I am open to change and I want you to change me from the inside out. Lord, my soul cries out to you. You are everlasting, your light stands when all else fades, You are never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame. The cry of my heart is to worship you. Lord help me to focus on you. You are the only one I need. I bow all of me at your feet. I worship you alone. Create in me a clean heart Oh Lord. Renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence Oh Lord. Take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of my salvation. While I'm waiting, I will serve you and praise you and honor you for you are the reason I have life.
Lord bless my husband tonight. Give him the eyes to see your will for our lives, give him the ears to hear your call on his life, and give him the knowledge that he has sinned against you and against his family. I pray that he would find rest in you and that you would soften his heart toward me Lord. I pray that he would see me as the wife of his youth and return. I pray that he would realize the covenant between us has not been and will never be broken but only by death. We are one in your spirit Lord. We are one in your eyes. Make us one is our lives. God, please speak to my husband and show him your glory. Consume him with your love and overwhelm him with your mercy. Pour out your grace and let him fall to his knees and repent over what has happened. Abba Father, God almighty, make of heaven and earth, may your wonders never cease Lord. You are awesome and holy and worthy of my praise. Thank you for you are already working on the restoration of our marriage. Do a great work in me and bring me into your house clean and holy. God be gracious and kind to me as I beg you to fulfill the promise that you have given me. I will wait. As long as it takes. I will praise and I will worship you. Forever. Amen.