Monday, August 23, 2010
I've been doing so well, I thought, in this process of divorce. But I think last week it finally hit me. Or at least Satan finally got his evil claws into me. I began to sink into the most dark, deep sadness I've felt in a long time. I've felt despair, sadness, overwhelming grief, just utter hopelessness. My mind is a complete jumbled mess and I cannot focus on anything. I feel like my life is just spinning out of control. I haven't been able to concentrate at work, I haven't been able to focus on God's word. It's amazing how quickly your thoughts and mind can change. I think that I need a time out. Time to refocus. Time to figure out what my step will be. Time to figure out what God is saying to me in this darkness. So I'm going to step away and study God's word for a while. When I come back, perhaps I'll have some huge revelation from God. We'll see. Please just pray for me for now. This is a terribly difficult time in my life. I'm praying that God will use it to refine me and make me more like him. We will see.