Yesterday was exactly six weeks since my divorce was final. And I had this overwhelming sense of sadness. It was made more difficult by an expanding argument with my teenage son who doesn't want to listen to my instructions. Last night, I just fell apart. I couldn't say I was surprised. I'd felt it coming all day long. I miss my husband. I look around me at the upheaval in our home and the realization that he is gone and we are divorced is almost too much to bear. Most days lately, I have a hard time even getting out of the bed. It is a struggle to do the very basic of daily activities. I am overwhelmed by the things that need to be done and the disorder of my home. I am fighting the urge to call or email my husband and tell him how I feel, that he should be here, that I miss him beyond measure, that I need him more than he will ever know. But I do not. I feel that God would say wait. Wait on me. Let me do my work and wait until the time is right. So in obedience to God, I wait. I don't want to mess up anything that God is working on right now so I'm not going to jump in and try to handle things on my own. This is one of the hardest things I've done. Waiting. And Praying. And Hoping.
Isaiah 40:28-31 28
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.